THA LIST 2013
(Andru'z Best of/Worst of the Year)
by #andRu?
Written and Posted originally: January 3, 2014 at 10:34am
Quote of tha Year: 'Welcome tha #NewUniverze!'
- #andRu?
Worst Quote of the Year:
"The reason you Georgia boys can deer hunt, duck hunt, squirrel hunt, hog hunt, (holding up his Bible) that’s the reason you can do it. What I’m holding in my hand right there. That’d be a Bible. You said, now let me get this right. If it were not for this, you would not hunt here. No sir. Here’s a quote, Georgia. 'It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible.' George Washington, your first president. You know what they said? Name the capital of our country after him!" - Phil Robertson, wrongly quoting our forefather
Best Lyric of the Year: (TIE!) 'Neptune
GO
Now serve Pluto
Saturn
Jupiter
Mercury, Venus - uh ha!
Uranus!
Don’t you know my ass is famous?
Mars
Now serve for the gods
Earth, serve for the stars!' - Gaga, 'Venus'
-AND-
'Boy, I'm drinking, I'm singing on the mic 'til my voice hoarse
Then I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard
Surfboard, surfboard
Grinding on that wood, grinding, grinding on that wood
I'm swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body Benz
Serving all this, swerve, surfing all of this good good' - Beyoncé, 'Drunk In Love'
Worst Lyric of the Year:
'I know I got a bad reputation
Walking 'round, always mad reputation
Leave a pretty girl sad reputation
Start a Fight Club, Brad reputation'
- Kanyé West (jus amazing rhyme skills)
Song of the Year: 'Work Bitch' - Britney
Worst Song of the Year: 'Cruise' - Georgia Florida Line
Best Power Couple: Bey and Jay
Worst, um, Power Couple: Kimyé
Album of the Year: 'BOW DOWN BITCHEZZZ!'
Worst Album of the Year: 'A Duck Dynasty Xmas' (or something)
Video of the Year: Anything on Beyoncé, namely 'Haunted' / 'Partition' / 'Drunk In Love'
Worst Video of the Year: 'Bound 2' - Kanyé West
Sexiest Moment of the Year / Unsexiest Moment of the Year: SEE PREVIOUS.
Funniest Moment of the Year: (TIE!) Seth Rogan / James Franco's 'Bound 2' parody-AND-
That bearded guy's 'Wrecking Ball' parody
Unfunniest Moment of the Year: (TIE!) 'Bound 2' - Kanye West
-AND-
Paula Deen's wholly unnecessary and sad apology to get back in the graces of a judgmental society.
Funniest Unfunny Fakery: (TIE!) Jimmy Kimmel's Twerk-fireGate
-AND-
The guy who had 5 DWIs so his friends set him up in hospital bed 10 years in the future to make him think he had been in a coma.
Unfunniest Funny Realness: (TIE!) That guy that woke up from surgery and said, 'You're my wife?!!!'
-AND-
The news bulletin on tv for the guy who had 5 DWIs so he'd believe he was in the future proclaiming, 'Miley Cyrus got busted for a meth lab in her double wide.'
Best Moment in Pop Culture: Beyoncé, the secret album.
-AND-
The 5 Minutes I gave 'Duck Dynasty' a quacking objective chance. (A&E, I would like those back, please, and I will be checking my cable bill…)
Most Overrated Moment: Mileygate 2013 (Madonna who??)
Most Underrated Moment: (TIE!) Madonna's #Secretprojectrevolution
-AND-
Beyoncé's secret project that will cause a revolution (and Im crazy thinking they're connected…).
Best Movie of the Year: 'The Conjuring'
Worst
Movie of the Year: 'Blue Jasmine' (only bc I worship the playground
Woody Allen creeps on and they made this out to be Bullets Over Broadway
and it was more Shadows and Fog)
Best TV Show of the Year: (3-Way TIE!) 'RuPaul's Drag Race' (even a pop-up video version of the first season is still badass)
-AND-
'America's Next Top Model V.20' (that's right, Ty Ty Baby, equality for all)
-AND-
'The Golden Girls' (can't F with a classic)
Worst TV Show of the Year: Looking up my cable bill next, y'all.
Worst DVD Release: 'Seal Team Six: The Raid on Osama Bin Laden' (erroneously thinks its based off a true story)
Artist of the Year: (TIE!)
Madonna
-AND-
Beyoncé (duh)
Worst Artist of the Year: (TIE!)
Kanyé West
-AND-
'Duck Dynasty' programmers (makes the Housewives look like gd Shakespeare)
Justly Persecuted Redneck: Phil Robertson
Unjustly Persecuted Redneck: Paula Deen
Most Justified Sexual Comparison: Beyoncé to Madonna.
Most Unjustified Sexual Comparison: Homosexuals to Bestiality Practitioners. (thanks, again, Phil...)
Most Justified Racial Outcry:
The Trayvon Martin trial.
Most Unjustified Racial Outcry: Phil Robertson claiming black people were 'Happy' pre-Civil Rights.
Coolest New Princess Name and Cameo in the Media: Blue Ivy Carter, on 'Blue' - BeyoncéUncoolest New Princess Name and Cameo in the Media: First photo of North West (tho, in fairness, she is quite beautiful).
Best New FB Page: #NewUniverze!
https://www.facebook.com/MadonnaBeyoncéGaiaAndru
Worst New FB Page: #OldWorld!
https://www.facebook.com/Philrobertsonsupport
Show of the Year:
Britney Spears 'Piece of Me'
Worst Show of the Year: 'Dynasty' (hahaha the 80's TV show, only b/c they won't remake it and they're actually daring to remake 'Dirty Dancing'…were u thinking of another show??? hmmm.)
Best New Celestial Body to Worship: Mother Earth (this Sun stuff is SOO Old World).
Worst Old Celestial Body to Ignore: Sirius (the North Star that guides us).
Person of the Year: Whoever the hell is actually behind the Secretprojectrevolution (god?)
Worst Person of the Year: We are all god's children.
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